beyond all this lossless losing
is freedom
and self-respect becomes this worthy adversary
forming me to its keening blade -
this marbleized edifice of karmic resonance,
within which i carve echoes and delusions,
and self-respect, sure as death
forcing my hand to unwitting amputations
of all my binding lies
white-hot, cauterizing my blind eyes
to force new growth, there

and i love this dance
with all my heart
and i love this musical stairway
always spiraling ahead
always becoming
and always shrouded in mystery
the very same mystery that dogs my heels
incinerating my remains each moment passing
should i dare to look behind too fast
to see its holy fire
grinning at me
so patient
calling for room service
to order a relish tray

is she just a little girl
waiting on her king
and praying for prince charming
to set her free?

or is she scared of freedom
so grand outside her door?
because what good has freedom
ever done for her before?

or is she just doing hard life-times
her karmic chains a' draggin'
slogging her way back from hell
who could blame her lagging?

or is it in the happenstance of life
that she is just a loser
never got it quite together
with her common-sensing chooser

or is she just this lazy thing
all seven-deadlies does she bring
though seven virtues she admires
still just a coward and a liar

so round and round and round she goes
can't see the stops, can't find the brakes
through loopdy-loops and dosie-does
not much left standing in her wake

and every which way she does spin
from mountains high to valleys low
she's digging through the sorting bin
for some thing, one thing, she can know

and one thing, some thing she can feel
just to know that some thing's real
just to know another soul
before the curtain falls on end-of-show

two parts human, one part god
two parts laughing, one part sad
one-half part knowing, most confused
no game to win, no time to lose

sometimes i see what is
and sometimes i see what isn't
rarely do i see the truth

but i can billow wide the net
of rainbow-light fibers
and illuminate the void

and that feels like love to me
a glowing luminescence, like gravity
making me matter, and
calling me home